Better Than The Last...

Just decided to sleep on the couch again and blog about the guy I mentioned in the post "Just Cause It's Been A While" I think I spend enough time with him that he's worth blogging about by now. I mean, I spend pretty much everyday with him.. oh he just texted me *butterflies*. I hate that. Okay, so like I said before, he's super sweet. He is really charming. It's impossible not to like him. He's really funny; conversations between him and I aren't really conversations, they are him saying things and me hysterically laughing, stopping only to breathe or to respond. He's very attractive, too short, but he's attractive. He's super easy to talk to and never hesitates to give someone a compliment(like I said, super sweet). He does these little things that drive me absolutely crazy. And even though it isn't all that difficult to make me bonkers because I'm already bonkers, he does it without meaning to(or so I think, he could be doing everything on purpose, like my best friend suggested). Well, even if he is doing it on purpose, why?? Before I even start thinking about those possibilities, let's start with what he does. First of all, he keeps saying that I'm his favorite person, I'm the best, I'm awesome, my voice is sexy, etc. It makes me blush and that's just not cool. Secondly, he's very touchy, but in a totally noncreepy way. He sometimes gets really close when he's telling me a secret and once like grabbed the back of my neck and whispered in my ear( I know!! How the hell am I supposed to defend myself against that?!). Thirdly, he's a little cocky, but I like it. He exudes confidence and he's macho, but he's still a sweetheart. He is a man and knows it, but he doesn't go around sticking his chest out, challenging others to a fight, he doesn't have to. I find that incredibly sexy. My goodness, I started this post at 9:43, its 11:11(you can guess what I'm wishing for.. because I'm a bloody idiot). I'm gonna keep going, I'm on a path to self destruction, why stop now? Where was I? Oh yeah, the fourth thing about him that I really like, he seems really genuine and honest. Maybe I'm terrible at reading guys(I have been fooled before).. omg, I'm so dumb. He told me he was a great liar Okay, so scratch all that.. The (real) fourth thing about him that I really like is his body. I know, I know its very superficial of me, but he has the body type I like a guy to have. I won't describe it because that would be like revealing his identity, but I like it... moving on. The fifth thing he does that drives me crazy is he sets little traps for me. I can't really explain it. Shit. I like him. Damn it, I admitted it. Fuck. Why? I know it's only gonna end bad for me. He likes someone else. He's not over his ex. Like 3 other girls are into him(that I know of), all of whom are much prettier than me. I've already been scarred for life by heartbreak. I've dealt with too many a*holes why would he be any different? I need to focus on school. He definetely doesn't like me back, at least not in that way. Okay, I'm fine. Well, I'm not, but what choice to I have?? I'm starting to believe there is no soulmate for me. Maybe the idea that everyone has another half doesn't apply to me. I think I could be okay with that. Ugh, I'm PMSing, it's time for sleep.

Shockingly Whatever..

I feel very whatever right now. I know I'll feel differentvtomorrow morning when I go to school homework-less. I regret nothing. I'm so sick of school anwyway. High School isn't for me. Specifically, the homework and getting up early parts. Aaarrghh. I am sooo blaaahhh. I honestly have nothing interesting to say. No one is texting me, there's nothing funny on Facebook, I don't feel like Tumblr-ing and I'm trying my hardest to act like I don't have school tomorrow. It's not helping. My brother is a creep... This post is a major fail. I need to stop. I'm slacking. I'm gonna start a new post. Hopefully, it's better than this one.

Just Cause It's Been A While...

Sleeping on the couch.. I find it to be more comfortable than my bed sometimes.. I like to pretend that I'm just visiting, that tomorrow I'll go home to my awesome lofty apartment/studio above an old warehouse in the Garment District, paid for by my older, foxy gentlemen friend who also happens to be my "financier". Yeah, I don't know where I get these things either.. Anyway, life is whatever right now, the end of Spring Break is approaching too quickly and is very near crashing into me harder than a head on collision...in other words, no, I have'nt done any homework. Bleh. Today was the blah-est. I stayed home all day for no real reason other than possible discomfort. I freaked out about the fact that I haven't started my homework, however, made no effort to do it. I created a Tumblr account. I know, I know, tré cliché but I should really start whoring myself promoting my photographic "talents". I would give the link to it, but that would mean revealing my identity, which is just too embarrassing to even consider. In other "news" there's a new person in my life. He's not really all that new actually, he's from my not-so-distant past and I'm actually texting him right now. He's improving my mood and distracting me from my blogging. He's someone who's very good at getting his way with girls and being sweet as poundcake definetely helps his cause. I don't even remember where I was going with this.. I sense danger afoot...nothing EVER comes from me falling in like(or lust for that matter) with charming guys. EVER. And don't let me start thinking nice thoughts. They always end up badly. Me liking anyone period has only ever ended badly. I don't know why I even leave my house honestly. Bleh, I'm such a downer. I'm only like this when I'm alone with my thoughts.. I'm never this gloomy when there are other people around. Whatever, changing the subject: I think there's something wrong with my brain, literally.( I know, not much more cheery, but hey, it is what it is) I've been getting these random sharp pains above my left eye, my memory is getting so bad that I forget what I'm talking about midsentence, I feel unfocused and disorganized, and I randomly get nauseous. These are things that don't happen on a regular basis so I don't think about them very often, but I think I should seek professional help. Maybe. Most likely, there's nothing wrong with me. Going to bed...or, couch.. whatever.