I don't think I'll ever understand the opposite sex. Boys are like a foreign language I won't ever figure out. I need a translator or some classes. Something to help me decode this mystery. I'm being dramatic. I wouldn't know what to do with that knowledge anyway. It probably wouldn't change the state of my love life. I think I just have to wait. I've waited this long, what's a little while longer? I can only hope that he'll be worth the wait. I overthink things too much and probably ruin things that could possibly be great. Plus, I never ever make the first move. Ever. It's too risky and I'm not confident that I wont get laughed at or brushed off (again). That literally hurt my heart to type. I hate to feel this way, but I know if I didn't have my skin condition I would have better luck with guys. I hate myself for feeling that way. I hate myself for having the condition on the first place. I really don't think I'm attractive most days. I think I have to do so much to make myself look pretty. I feel like I have to be the sweetest, nicest, friendliest, most obsequious I can be to compensate for how I look. I hate that I can't tell if a guy is looking at me because he thinks I'm beautiful or strange looking. I guess either way it doesn't really matter. For now, I'm going to hold on to hope because life is absurd, especially my life. I think I should end this now. I'm watching The Notebook for the first time. It's really nice so far.
