Summer of SUCK [weekend one]

This weekend SUCKED. Which makes me think that this whole summer is in serious danger of being a complete blow :T. I was supposed to go to the beach today but it rained. Instead I went with my dad and grandmother to check out an apartment. It made me excited about looking for my own apartment. I was really bummed about not being able to go to the beach. I was hoping it would make up for Friday and Saturday. I would've caught some rays, gave myself a sun tattoo, maybe met a hot guy.. but no, the whole weekend was a bust. I don't even have my piano to vent since the batteries died. I really need to meet new people. Mature, interesting, artsy New Yorkers who know cool shit. At the very least, a really cute musician who digs me. I mean, c'mon Universe, throw me a bone here, I'm dying. It's funny because last night, I told Darling to cross his fingers and hope that I wouldn't be a third wheel at the beach; that some hot guy would notice me. He told me today that he hoped it would rain and I couldn't go to the beach at all -_- Even though I didn't ask for that at all... He apologized, I thought that was pretty cute. I told myself I needed to stop talking to him, I lied. I very nearly told my grandmother that I was going to marry him, I don't know what came over me, I'm crushing way too hard. I'm going bonkers. I need medication. I've been trying to figure out if I like him because I can't have him, or because I really do like him. I hate this. I hate it. I hate it. How do people find each other?? It's the great mystery I don't think I'll ever solve. This is not what I wanted to write about. Fuck this. I'm gonna take pictures...