I miss him sooo much. I'm not talking about text message guy, I'm talking about Super Crush turned "Best Friend". At least I thought I saw him as a friend. Ever since he started going out with her, it's like I don't even exist. I know he cares about me, and supposedly he misses me, but I feel like I've lost him forever. I know that's dramatic, but it feels dramatic. I'm leaving soon and if things continue this way, I'll leave without saying goodbye. I have a feeling the girl he's dating doesn't want him around me and that hurts. I wish things could go back to the time I listened to his heartbeat. I should probably just cut my losses and pretend he doesn't exist anymore. In a way, he doesn't. The him that I cuddled with and watched movies with and held hands with for hours went away. He's someone different now. He's an uglier version. He's someone I don't even recognize. I don't even think there's anything I could have done to change this. All I can do now is appreciate the time I spent with him and dream of what could have been. I did love the time I spent with him. I loved how we were before he disappeared. I watched him fade slowly and I didn't quite understand what was happening until it happened already. I'm not sad or upset, or at least I'm trying not to be, because I'm grateful that I got to meet him and have the experiences we had. Just because I feel something for him, that doesn't mean we were meant to be together. That's something I have to learn.
