Where MY love truly lies.

I am almost absolutely sure that I've said this before, but for the sake of the state of my life right now, I'll say it again: if I were given the choice between a potential love and piles of beautiful green money, I would choose money without hesitation. I am well aware that I'm much too young to give up on love. However, I am old enough to know that love isn't for me--maybe that's too brash a statement. I am old enough to know that a relationship that is anything other than platonic or familial isn't for me. At last not right now. This realization didn't shock me in the least. I kind of always knew that there's something off about me. Something that puts me at somewhat of a disadvantage(depending on your view) when it comes to dating. I've always felt like the girl who's "a good friend, but not someone to date." I don't why I'm like this. I suppose I could blame it on my attitude or my intelligence, which the opposite sex is no doubt intimidated by, but that feels too ridiculous, even for me. I used to think that I was cursed, and my appearance, or something about me kept me from being considered "girlfriend material." I have thrown away this idea. Not only because it is totally ridiculous, but also due to the fact that I've realized that I'm not the problem. Maybe this is narcissistic of me to think this way, but it is how I feel. Clearly, I am different than most girls, in more than just one way, but that is just how I am and any guy's failure to realize that this isn't a bad thing is his own fault. The point is, I'm not thinking about romance right now. Partly because no one has come along, partly because I'm too busy being obsessed with my future and fashion. Oh fashion, my first true love, my heart's desire, my reason for continuing to struggle and work toward my dreams. I would LOVE to be a photographer or photo editor for Seventeen Magazine or Vogue or Marie Claire or Vanity Fair or Harper's Bazaar. *sigh* I would just die. I would even love dressing windows for Forever21 or Urban Outfitter's. Oh, Urban Outfitter's, I want to work for you so badly. I will apply next year and I will work there. I HAVE to. So, just to recap: the only thing I will be loving right now is Fashion, Photography, and myself and I will be working in Urban Outfitter's next year. YAY!