U no her...she invited me nd plus one lol ur the only person I wanted to come:-) my bros going to:-)*Sigh* As the title suggests, I'm back at square one. What is square one you ask?? Well, I'll tell you, madly in like with a guy who is totally unavailable. Ugh, as I was typing that, I hesitated as I wrote "totally". I can't fully accept it. Even after all that crap, I still can't. FML. Its just, I forgive him for his faults when he says things like:
Nd ur not bad ur just rite:-)Or
Lol I just miss u nd I owe u a performance:-)And HOW am I supposed to stay strong when he says things like:
Lol u have nice skin show it off :-)
Do I sound totally pathetic yet? I am pathetic. I'm pathetic for love. But love doesn't love me. And neither does he. It's actually quite sad. But, to not feel alone, I'll love you and I'll wait, to give the illusion that I'm not alone(watch 8 Women, a French Film and you'll get the reference). I'm so dramatic. He's not even my boyfriend(yet I hope). He's just a friend. Who has a girlfriend. Who I haven't met yet. I thought I came to terms with that. I haven't. And I realize now that I won't until she's standing in front of me and I get that discomfort in the pit of my stomach. I'm a visual learner. And apparently, a glutton for punishment. I know it's over, but my birthday wish is for these feeling to be gone and for me to forget about him like I forgot about the others. The universe just won't leave me alone.
