This summer wasn't entirely lame. It hit what I hope was it's lameness peak this week. Hopefully it finishes out absolutely awesome or just flatlines. I don't care which, as long as it's not totally lame like this week has been. It didn't start out lame. It started out pretty freakin awesome. Once Wednesday rolled around, the decline began. I thought the lameness would go away today, I shopped and ate, the two things that bring me total bliss. I spent $100 maybe a little more on things I probably don't need. The decline of awesome(today anyway) began when I realized I bought two pairs of shorts that totally don't fit. Turns out, I got fat[ter]. It got worse when I had to move all my things from the spacious room I was in to a closet...in the basement. Did I mention I am currently on a couch? Yeah, lame. Not only that, a mother-daughter snoring team are in the room I was originally in which I LOVED only 5 feet away. They're keeping me awake. Them and this zit that hurts like hell sitting for all to see on my chin. I broke out outta nowhere. I'm so ready to go home. This "vacation" needs to end. I literally had a mental freaking breakdown last night. I woke up with swollen eyes from crying for about two hours. I don't handle rejection well at all. I'm not completely over it either. It hurts that I care more about other people then they do about me. The people I love and care about wouldn't notice if I dissapeared out of their lives forever. I'm never enough for anybody. I'm so painfully insufficient. I make up for it by spending every penny I have on nonsense. I hide my sadness and fear behind smiles and laughter. I don't let anyone see that I'm dying inside of loneliness and a broken heart. No one can really help me anyway. This post is so depressing. I wrote it to let it out but I'm just letting out things that should never be let to the surface. Time to push it back down with superficial thoughts and a fake smile. There's no one to thank for reading but myself, which is no great accomplishment so jst stay fab.:T
-L.H. ♥
