I think I've done something bad. I think I've made my psuedo relationship with the guy mentioned in *sigh*(let's call him Wow) revolve around sex. We're kind of ass backwards to begin with but I think I've made him believe that I'm gonna do things I'm really not ready for. I don't know what to do at this point. I guess I'll just have to wait it out. If he tries to pressure me it's over. I'm not cool with that at all. But if he's willing to wait for me then we could make it. I don't know, he's not gonna be around for very long. Eventually we won't be ale to see eachother. Long distance never works. I'm trying not to attatch myself but I'm finding it really hard. I wanna to fall in love with him and I want him to fall in love with me. I just want that warm loved feeling. Does that make me seem desperate? I hope not. I don't just want anybody, I want him. UGH. I think to much. That's what my problem is. I can't ever just go with the flow and be okay. I always have to think until my head hurts and muddles my emotions even more. I hate it. I wish I could turn my brain off for a while. I guess I could just think about the positive. Making lists helps me. Okay, I'll make a Pro and Con list. That's what the next blog will be. So if you want to, you can look at that. If you don't want to that's cool. Well, until next time you sneak out from your lover's bed to take a ride on the not so wild side.
-L.H. ♥
