Trying to Sort Through This Mess.

I need to clean out my brain. And heart. I wish I could just let go of all the crap that confuses me. Why can't emotions be as easy to throw out as the junk in our closets? It's so frustrating trying to get over someone or something when your stupid irrational heart is keeping you stuck. It shouldn't be this difficult for me to give up and move on. I shouldn't feel so atttached. I have no reason to be. He gives me that goddamn false hope. He makes me feel like he might actually think of me more than just a girl or a friend. Then, he takes it all back. I hate him. I feel like a stupid yo-yo. What could I have possibly done to deserve this? I think my dreams are huge red flags. I've had two dreams where I'm screaming at him. It's because I'm unhappy with the way things are. In the first dream, I'm angry at him because of his girlfriend. In the second dream, he wasn't supporting me and our "two kids". I think they were indicators that I need to do some spring cleaning on my phone and throw away his number. I did it. No more bullshit. I keep telling myself it needs to stop, but I never end it. Well, now it's over. He has a girlfriend, and I have my own life. I have bigger things to worry about. That's it. No more discussions. I should go to sleeep now.