Sickly..

Fml. I've been stuck in my house three days straight. At first, it was a cold. Now it's my asthma. My body is tired and I have really bad anxiety because of the school I'm missing. No one has messaged me asking where I am. I think too highly of myself. Why would anyone miss me? I'm very replaceable. I looked into rehab. I found one that was really good but really expensive. My mom said I should see a therapist first. I haven't been to therapy yet. I had one session, but it doesn't count because it was  an "emergency visit". My great grandmother had just passed away and I was having a hard time with it. I was having a hard time with everything then. I was failing school for the first time, I felt alone, and depressed. This blog has become my therapy in a way even though I feel a little pathetic writing it. Hopefully it won't come back to haunt me one day. I guess this blog is kinda good for my mental health, ironically. It reminds me of the mistakes I have to make sure I don't make again. It also allows me to let go of my negative and possibly harmful emotions. It's not embarrrassing since no one but me really reads it, and I can make a mental note of which times of the year/month I usually start feeling really crappy. This blog is a pretty good therapist in that way. I still think it would probably be better if I talked to a human being and learned some coping skills or something new about myslef or my life that maybe I didn't notice. I just went on the crazy tangent about drugs -_-. I, erased the whole paragraph. I'll spare you the details. My brain is muddled. I'm tired and full of asthma medication. I'm gonna try to get to sleep..